Motivation

We all wish for the easy way out. If only someone could tell us how to make it through the maze of this life- give us the Cliff's Notes, or a secret map, we could navigate it all with ease!
"[We] expect our two-week vacations to be romantic, exotic, cheap, and effortless.. We expect anything and everything. We expect the contradictory and the impossible. We expect compact cars which are spacious; luxurious cars which are economical. We expect to be rich and charitable, powerful and merciful, active and reflective, kind and competitive. We expect to be inspired by mediocre appeals for excellence, to be made literate by illiterate appeals for literacy...to go to 'a church of our choice' and yet feel its guiding power over us, to revere God and to be God. Never have people been more the masters of their environment. Yet never has a people felt more deceived and disappointed. For never has a people expected so much more than the world could offer."
~ Daniel J. Boorstin
Winning the Lottery, Fairy Tale Weddings, A career as a video game tester, whatever the specifics are- we all dream of finding an effortless path to happiness. Instead, we struggle, we sweat, we suffer, and we curse our terrible luck. Where did we ever get the idea that this was supposed to be easy?
Our expectations are based on the self-esteem that has been ingrained in our generation since birth. We expect only the things we deserve- which stops just short of living in Valhalla. American self-esteem has been built up to the point where we think we are capable of anything- we are gods of our own universes, but those universes are separate and diverse, floating in disconnected spheres. We have been deified by our own faith in ourselves- relegating the rest of humanity to second-class citizenry simply because they are not the almighty ME displayed on a pedestal. Especially in this world where our own thoughts and ideas are the ultimate good, we can become anything we want to be.
Jean Twenge wrote a book called Generation Me (highly recommended) detailing how we have become more entitled and assured than ever before, and how all these expectations are dashed, leaving us disappointed and miserable in our adult years as we fail to reach each incredible goal we set as children. When we realize that we cannot be the doctor who teaches 1^st grade and has a Prince Charming and a Happily Ever After, we blame ourselves. Since we take it for granted that we are special, and can make our dreams come true, this realization is a failure. Given the chance to be anything you ever wanted to be, can you choose any one thing?
Meanwhile, the paths of cultural expectation that were once dictated by rituals and practices at proscribed times and in certain ways that marked the doorways between ages- between childhood and adulthood have been camouflaged by the 60's flower children rebelling against the government, the 70's back to land folks rebelling against society, and the 80's yuppies rebelling against the aforementioned rebels. None of us (I hope) mourn the mutilation rituals, and few of us even consider the quests and dreams that mythically taught humanity how to live, but we, as a group, have lost a doorway to becoming a "grown-up". As a result, we have also lost some of what it is to be adult. There is no ritual change to usher in the next step. There is no final approval that suddenly makes us adult and secure in our knowledge of our selves and our world. We are children with no guide, and students who must teach themselves. No job has ever been harder, and never before have so many people wished… for relief from the decisions and expectations we have to set for ourselves. And we're back to the easy way out.
"So long as man remains free he strives for nothing so incessantly and so painfully as to find someone to worship. But man seeks to worship what is established beyond dispute, so that all men would agree at once to worship it…man is tormented by no greater anxiety than to find someone quickly to whom he can hand over that gift of freedom with which the ill-fated creature is born. But only one who can appease their conscience can take over their freedom……peace, and even death, is more attractive to man than the freedom of choice that derives from the knowledge of good and evil"                                                             ~Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Grand Inquisitor"
Being led as we were as children, knowing the rules and blindly following someone we can trust sounds comforting and safe. Dostoevsky's Grand Inquisitor points to the things we want to worship- someone to feed us, give us what we need; someone to follow blindly, trusting that the decisions are being made correctly, and there is no need for us to think and decide for ourselves. This is the ultimate easy way out, and a reminder that the easy way out often comes at the price of free will and active thought. If we ever get the things we wish for, our humanity is taken away from us bit by bit.
I remember wishing for the expectations of the tribal world, where the goals and celebrations were measured out for us beforehand- even if those were simply cooking and cleaning for the men who hunt and gather. But these struggles, sufferings, and choices are YOUR choices. Each one makes you more who you are, not less.
"May you live to see your world fulfilled, May you be our link to future worlds, and may your hope encompass all the generations to be. May your heart conceive with understanding, may your mouth speak wisdom and your tongue be stirred with sounds of joy. May your gaze be straight and sure, your eyes be lit with Torah's lamp, your face aglow with heaven's radiance, your lips expressing words of knowledge, and your inner self alive with righteousness. And may you always rush in eagerness to hear the words of One more ancient than all time."
~Talmud, Brachot 17A
There are no teachers of truth, and no curriculum that leads to enlightenment. Each person reaches the depths or heights of their soul alone, and, in a perfect world, finds the companionship of the enlightened world. Siddhartha had to leave the Buddha to find his own truth as teenagers have to leave their parents- Jesus had to break from his home, and be ridiculed in his home town to leave those old expectations behind. Is the goal to be other? I know it is to be more, somehow. We are all looking to find the key into our own souls (if we aren't, we ought to be), and each key is different. There are not steps that will inevitably lead to this knowledge, unless those steps are simply to keep questioning and testing oneself. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it, right?

Compassion

compassion

mid-14c., from O.Fr. compassion , from L.L. compassionem  (nom. compassio ) "sympathy," from compassus,  pp. of compati  "to feel pity," from com-  "together" + pati  "to suffer" (see passion).

Most people do not think of compassion as a political term, but that is how it began, in its purest form, and where the word originated. It has been used in so many different ways over the ages that it has almost lost its meaning. So many religions and service organizations speak of compassion in their fund raising activities that the word is almost synonymous with pity. The superior person has compassion for the nameless poor on the streets, and gives money to an organization to alleviate the guilt brought on by the feeling. The trouble is, compassion has nothing to do with pity, and has no judgment or guilt attached. Compassion is intended for humanity to understand one another at the most basic emotional level.

When the Greeks established the first democracy in Athens around 500 BCE, the government was intended to give power to the people (the poloi, or citizens, who were men who owned property, but let us not be distracted by the misogyny of the past), and this early version of democracy was fully invested in keeping the people happy in whatever way it could. The mental health and commonality of the inhabitants must be maintained if a true democracy is to exist- if the poloi is allowed to fester or falter, if the people are divided, the decisions of the masses are not going to be in the best interest of the society, but only of the individual.

The original meaning of compassion was to feel together; the Athenians were required to attend dramatic and cathartic productions on holidays, and each person, rather than rolling their eyes and suffering through the boredom, invested themselves so fully that the entire group was known to weep openly with the distress of the characters. These plays were not simply the entertainment that we create for ourselves today. Instead, it was structured and regulated to show the political movements of the past year in a way that would draw out the emotions and passions of the audience in sympathy for the enemies, in understanding of horrors far beyond the rational comprehension of the average Athenian.

Compassion, Noun-

    The feeling of distress and pity for the suffering and misfortune of another, often including the desire to alleviate it.

In this age of reality television and internet videos ranging from painful crotch shots to gruesome beheadings, we have distanced ourselves from the horror and pain of what we see on a daily basis. In order to pull at the emotions of the common man today, the passion evoked has to be more extreme by the day, and almost by the hour. Instead of letting ourselves feel things along with those we watch, or opening our hearts to the painful emotions around us, we steel ourselves to it with a jaded worldliness. We remind ourselves on occasion that we need to use a "willing suspension of disbelief" in order for a story to let us feel its message. We remind our children that what they see on television is not real- from the Looney Tunes attempting to murder one another to the Back to the Future movies, where the atomic-power hungry Libians take down the beloved Doc. Our disbelief is ingrained by all this training, and so pervading that we no longer know how to feel compassion.

~ Each of us in our own way can try to spread compassion into peoples' hearts. Western civilizations these days place great importance on filling the human 'brain' with knowledge, but no one seems to care about filling the human 'heart' with compassion. This is what the real role of religion is. ~

  Dalai Lama

The more knowledge we gather, the more distance we give ourselves from the subjects of that knowledge. Watching the reality television shows allows us to laugh at the pain of others rather than identify with it. Amazingly, putting a frame around the television allows us to separate ourselves from the actions in a way that the Greeks would never have even considered. Analyzing the plot, the production value, the special effects, and the acting of the players solidifies our necessary separation and keeps distance between the character and the feeling. We allow ourselves to objectify those human actions and feelings to the point where they no longer resemble the actions and feelings of our selves. My pain is somehow different than any other pain, because it means more. Using the same words to describe my pain and that of Snookie cheapens my experience rather than validating hers. We do the same thing with people who are in front of us- dismissing people as if they were simply fictional characters in the story of our own lives.. How many times have you scrolled past Facebook posts of loneliness, misery, and confusion while barely registering the human feeling behind it?

~ I would rather feel compassion than know the meaning of it ~

  Thomas Aquinas

I have committed myself to compassion with the Charter for Compassion, begun by Karen Armstrong and TED in 2008. The goal is to cross the boundaries of nationality, religion, and prejudice and come to an understanding of our world community. There is no need to join a group or club, send anyone money, or devote your time to the poor and needy, though these are all good ways to get involved. Instead, it asks people to attempt a new way of thinking- a feeling together in order to "break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries". More than that, many of us who have felt so alone in this digital world can have the opportunity to connect to one another in a way that seems to be vanishing from our human concept of society.